Report from India, Part 4: Day 1, Part 2: Indian Fast Food

Again from Day 2, but pics are coming! I promise :)

The next stop was Haldiram (an Indian fast food restaurant—yes, we were the only white people there. This keeps happening! See Parts 1 and 2). For an explanation of the food, see the next food post. For an explanation of the whiteness, see our family trees and/or your friendly neighborhood geneticist/family history consultant. However for an explanation or portrayal of the Indianness, keep reading.

Let us say, had the nice manager not taken pity on us, we might still be there waiting to get food. Not because the lines were so long. No, there weren't any lines. Not because the staff was very busy, although that was certainly true. Nor was the staff lazy; they were on top of things. But rather, there is a certain way to order (and then receive that order) in an Indian fast food restaurant. And we are still novices.

First the manager, over the heads of those waiting to pick up their order, got us some samples so that we could even decide what we wanted. Unlike American fast food, where they try and reduce your options to Menus 1 through 8 with a large drink and fries, this place had a full restaurant display (and a sweet shop seemed to have found its way inside there as well...)

So, armed with samples and freshly-made decisions, we went to the ordering counter (on the opposite side of the room.) As I was still holding some sample and the ordering required a bit more aggressive waiting, I stepped back and let F handle that.

Then, with the ordering receipts in hand, we had to go to each of the actual counters for each of the separate dishes. (I'm not generally such a fan of American fast food. And I cringe at the real estate McDonalds has taken over, but still..there are some nice things to be said for their model. Like lines, for example. Aren't lines nice? Or counter consolidation.)

Here you could not go to one of the 4 or 5 counters to order and receive your desired combination of dishes. If you want to order Raj Kachori (or something similar), you go to the Raj Kachori counter. However, if you want to order a Special Tilla (or something therelike), you go to that other counter. You give them your order token and then (after a discreet amount of time) you pick up said items, each at their respective counters. But, remember, no lines.

It reminds F of portrayals of the New York stock exchange pre-internet, where everyone is wildly waving their slip of paper and calling out (all very civilly of course, but insistently). Or, ever played Pit? Now just think no sitting around a table and it's all in Hindi.

The Indian way of placing and receiving an order is to crowd up to the counter, stick your hand (or whole arm if possible) onto the counter and hold up your token. Reinforce your position with your voice. Once the token has been taken, stay there with the receipt (or, having come back from another counter, re-push yourself up to the front) and call out that you had ordered such a thing (that had just been announced to be ready). If you yell most persistently, you'll probably get it. Even if 4 others had ordered the same thing and were also waving their receipts.

Now imagine us. Imagine us not speaking Hindi. + not really understanding the Hindi announcements of what thing was ready. + not really feeling ready to elbow our way past a whole bunch of hungry Indians. Luckily, aforementioned manager again took pity on us. The milkshake we managed on our own, but otherwise, we'd have been really hungry up until dinner. As it was, we ate and enjoyed every last morsel. (Except the milkshake not so much..it just tasted very… very...fake chocolate syrupy ('Murica! Anyone?) But F was just thrilled about cold milk. Again, see food post 2 for more)

p.s. Upon reflecting on the title of this post, I'm beginning to think that Indian Fast Food is not so named because it is prepared quickly, but rather because you have to be quick to get your share.